Just an ordinary fella…

…who enjoys doing his house chores.

Most of the people who doesn’t know me for well will have one typical question in lingering in their head: “Why do you do a lot of house chores?”

House chores to me, is a daily getaway from the busy routine at work and the stress that I get from teaching. Although it is a difficult task for some, but to me doing house chores lifted up my spirit one way or another. I wash dishes, I clean tops and counters, I make beds, sweep/vacuum floors, fold laundries and take care of garbage. How can I tahan doing all these?

It gives a special sense of accomplishment.

For me, completing any house chores, provide me with the best feeling of satisfaction, which I might not get on regular basis at work. At work, there are certain tasks which are repetitive in nature, but I do not feel that the accomplishment belongs entirely to me (i.e. I don’t like sharing Haha). At home, getting the chores done and sitting there with the entire house cleaned, your entire body will tell you that “WooHoo! You’ve done it! Good Job!”. A more “personal” triumph perhaps? or Am I a clean freak? or Am I a control freak?

Chore time = Talk time.

I notice that my kids would normally come by and start talking to me as I completing the chores. I would normally ask them about their school work and things they do at school. They would also tell me things about the programme on the Tele, things they need for school or just ask me random things like our plans for the weekends. Having seen me all sweaty afterwards, they would not say anything if I started to change the TV channel from their favorite TV show. Hani and Hassan would normally hang around when I needed to hang up the laundry and they would start to tease  the neighbor dogs, through the fence. They would ask me things like “How do we know that they dogs are not angry?”, “Can the dogs walk with only two feet” or “How long do they need to sleep?”.

Chore time=Spy Time

Haha…this is funny. I get to “spy” on people, while doing my “normal” daily chores. Seeing me there washing my dishes, my neighbor would never suspect that I am observing their every action. Not that there is anything “interesting” going on with my neighbor, it is just that I am there, noticing things as it happens. But my ultimate spy skill is actually to check what are the kids up. I would smile to myself when I listen at them arguing with each other over ice-cream, singing/whistling to themselves, rehearsing self-scripted dialogue to match the actions made with their toys or sharing jokes/laughter from their favorite TV shows.

It allows me to reminisce.

While doing the dishes, I could easily drown myself with memories back in the days when mum would drag (and nag) me out from my afternoon of slacking, and pass me a broom or laundry bucket so I could make myself useful. She would stand next to me through the entire chores and just telling me stuff; from list of items for grocery shopping to the tele-novella drama series that she was following. Once in a while, she would criticize the way I sweep or did the windows, although I know truth is that she wanted to make sure I’m paying attention to her.

As far as I could remember, it was mum who got me started with sweeping the floor back when I was 5 or 6 years old. She told me that “Don’t be embarrass just because you are a boy doing a girl’s job. You should be embarrass if a boy like you cannot do a girl’s job properly”. That kept me going til now…

I MISS YOU MUM. GOD BLESS HER SOUL. AL-FATIHAH 

To be young. . .

. . .or not to be?

I am 32 years old, father of 3 and working as a lecturer at a local branch Aussie university. I find it almost impossible to meet the expectation at work and my personal life. For whatever reason, I am always at the receiving end of an awkward stare or eyes full of disbelief when I meet parents at work. Some would politely say “You look younger than we expected”, while some might say “Can we meet up with you boss instead”. I do realise in my field of work, age brings more confidence for the parents to put their trust in sendingtheir kids to taste education in my institution.

In a meeting room, people wouldn’t normally ask for your opinion unless it is necessary. They judge you by your looks. Looking “young” means you would need to just follow what they think is worth doing, with no question ask. This is another reason why I have to choose the attire for work carefully so that I do not look too “fresh” for them. But, continuing to do so means I would have to live my life for others and I might end up being somebody else at work.

Outside of work, I also feel the similar pressure. Living in a small city, chances of bumping into people you know are big, especially students and their parents. I do not enjoy being stared at from top to bottom whenever my students mentioned “my lecturer” to their parents. Even my daughter had been asked more than once by her friends if I am really the “father” or “brother” of hers when we bumped into them when i’m in my shorts, tee and baseball cap.

I have given up trying to please these people because they are really “impossible to be pleased”. I believe that we are born this way and that personality never changes throughout our lives. Personality makes you unique and uniqueness brings colors to your life. Let’s celebrate our life with people who are worth celebrating it with :)

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Wordle. . .

…stands for Word Doodle, no?

I tried this cool application back in 2008 (yikes??) and I thought it is an easy way out for me to get this blog updated, for the 3rd time, this year. You could try it yourself, via Wordle.

All you need is a bunch of words/text file (copy + paste) OR enter your blog address. What the application does is detect the commonly used word in the text entered or in your blog posts, and then produces a doodle for you. You get to edit the text layout, color combo, doodle shape and size.  Pretty kinky!

Nice also rite?…unless your blog is filled with vulgar words :)

Top 5 regrets people make. . .

. . .on their deathbeds.

I saw this posted on Facebook and I think it was worth to be shared

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.

I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the
life others expected of me. This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Original source here.

I laid with my mum once by her hospital bed and I asked her if she ever regretted anything about her (I assumed) unhappy marriage life, she casually said no. She never failed to cook the fanciest food for him, washed his clothes through every thread, kept his house to the tiniest small dust and waited for him patiently at home for every single moment of his arrivals. . .”It was him(dad) who should be the one with regrets, a lifetime full of them” she said, stroking my forehead as she hid her tears away. Mum passed away 3 months later, with dad still hasn’t gotten over his greatest loss, 7 yrs after.

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Kicking off the new year. . .

. . .trying not to look back in anger

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Last year was tough and I am afraid to expect anything for this year. Lots of expectations failed to meet personal desires and most desired outcomes were shortlived.

Something has got to change for the better, but what good does a change bring if it which was the obvious reason that brought up unforseen long arguments and heated confrontations.

I still believe this is another milestone to our growing process, not a turning point for failures…let’s just believe, for their sake:

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Posted from WordPress for Android

It has been a while. . .

. . .but that doesn’t mean everything is back to normal

I love you
The words that I fear will touch you
Words that I truly want to say to you
If only I can say it to you just once
Words that I couldn’t bear to say out loud
Words that I want to say audibly to you

Though I try to pretend not to notice and turn away Though I try to erase, but it’s not working
I want to go to you
I’m running towards you
My heart has already embraced you

Remember – the moment you think you are alone
At nights when you’re upset and can’t go to sleep
Don’t forget that there is someone out there who is hurting more than you do

I love you
It’s all the words that I wanna say to you
Words that I cant never said outloud
Only through the passing wind, I could deeply say I love you